Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
