Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
