i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
