she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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