I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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