Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So. Much. Porn.
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