my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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