I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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