R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize