Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize