dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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