so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize