someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
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Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
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It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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