Is it normal to miss your booty call?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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