how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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