i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you never un-have a 4some
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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