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Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
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