I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
