is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
