Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
