Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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