May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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