Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize