do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
