Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
