If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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