im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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