He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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