Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
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I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.