Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

what do you have against ST

(1-540): View more from Virginia

DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.

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(540): what do you have against ST (1-540): DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/zpvl

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(734): View more from Michigan

A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.

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(734): A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country. http://tfl.nu/okwk

Replies (85) Good night (13142) Bad night (1600)
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(516): View more from New York

I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this

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(516): I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this http://tfl.nu/xbb7

Replies (21) Good night (1132) Bad night (4433)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.

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(203): I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb. http://tfl.nu/7di2

Replies (2) Good night (3093) Bad night (1137)
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(713): View more from Texas

The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas

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(713): The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas http://tfl.nu/0bvq

Replies (3) Good night (2687) Bad night (871)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.

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(484): deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board. http://tfl.nu/f3ak

Replies (6) Good night (2252) Bad night (824)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed

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(250): Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/yyfl

Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (2098)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.

(1+44): View more from

I regret nothing

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(+44): you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop. (1+44): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/8vxi

Replies (3) Good night (2959) Bad night (1464)
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(925): View more from California

She still cant shoot whiskey?

(925): View more from California

Im having serious doubts about this relationship

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(925): She still cant shoot whiskey? (925): Im having serious doubts about this relationship http://tfl.nu/o90t

Replies (3) Good night (1373) Bad night (784)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.

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(405): No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm. http://tfl.nu/8gfx

Replies (4) Good night (2161) Bad night (765)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.

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(313): I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer. http://tfl.nu/dqld

Replies (19) Good night (1537) Bad night (811)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober

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(443): You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober http://tfl.nu/5fbb

Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (462)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

You were drinking Everclear weren't you?

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(828): While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee (1-828): You were drinking Everclear weren't you? http://tfl.nu/a4qg

Replies (0) Good night (628) Bad night (370)
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(941): View more from Florida

He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.

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(941): He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it. http://tfl.nu/yjd9

Replies (3) Good night (288) Bad night (597)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch

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(404): I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch http://tfl.nu/5kdg

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