Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses

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  (734): Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses http://tfl.nu/u4m4
  Replies (10) Good night (905) Bad night (1452) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.

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  (917): My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting. http://tfl.nu/u7rx
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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  (678): Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting. http://tfl.nu/d568
  Replies (14) Good night (3143) Bad night (607)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.

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  (306): how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was. http://tfl.nu/gxs4
  Replies (18) Good night (4728) Bad night (1715) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

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  (312): i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it http://tfl.nu/tzqh
  Replies (92) Good night (7299) Bad night (1878) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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  (205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed. http://tfl.nu/2764
  Replies (47) Good night (6258) Bad night (1974) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.

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  (269): I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week. http://tfl.nu/9ao4
  Replies (33) Good night (5856) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.

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  (540): I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen. http://tfl.nu/c2d0
  Replies (14) Good night (5352) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  i perioded on his leg

  (714): View more from California

  on. his. leg.

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  (714): i perioded on his leg (714): on. his. leg. http://tfl.nu/sr0m
  Replies (49) Good night (1012) Bad night (10497)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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  (757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil http://tfl.nu/9nrx
  Replies (7) Good night (881) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (875): View more from

  I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.

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  (875): I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant. http://tfl.nu/vus0
  Replies (16) Good night (916) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills

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  (775): Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills http://tfl.nu/fe2s
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?

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  (440): Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick? http://tfl.nu/vf93
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...

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  (717): And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill... http://tfl.nu/3r4q
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"

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  (425): It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord" http://tfl.nu/9kd9
  Replies (3) Good night (328) Bad night (253)

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