Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'

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(317): hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin' http://tfl.nu/lho1

Replies (12) Good night (659) Bad night (1133)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

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(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything. http://tfl.nu/pmpx

Replies (76) Good night (27896) Bad night (1792)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".

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(403): I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby". http://tfl.nu/2blo

Replies (49) Good night (611) Bad night (3374)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals

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(843): they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals http://tfl.nu/7ny2

Replies (21) Good night (3919) Bad night (823)
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(708): View more from Illinois

We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now

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(708): We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now http://tfl.nu/mm02

Replies (21) Good night (7081) Bad night (965)
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(512): View more from Texas

I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.

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(512): I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed. http://tfl.nu/z4ve

Replies (17) Good night (4289) Bad night (1872)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

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(832): I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/ohwe

Replies (25) Good night (6604) Bad night (1080)
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(415): View more from California

Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends

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(415): Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends http://tfl.nu/sp4r

Replies (1) Good night (986) Bad night (765)
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(205): View more from Alabama

After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

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(205): After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis. http://tfl.nu/x2c8

Replies (4) Good night (1984) Bad night (491)
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(770): View more from Georgia

After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"

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(770): After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me" http://tfl.nu/acul

Replies (22) Good night (3412) Bad night (1051)
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(904): View more from Florida

In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.

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(904): In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name. http://tfl.nu/nb8i

Replies (2) Good night (1019) Bad night (470)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.

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(717): I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass. http://tfl.nu/cjg7

Replies (8) Good night (668) Bad night (867)
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(512): View more from Texas

I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck

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(512): I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck http://tfl.nu/fgif

Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (427)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?

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(479): Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends? http://tfl.nu/q9dz

Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (563)
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(310): View more from California

I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip

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(310): I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip http://tfl.nu/scxm

Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (291)

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