Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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