The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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