Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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