So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize