we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.