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either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
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