Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He passed out mid-signature
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If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate