my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver