we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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