very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
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i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
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But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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