I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
