sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
