Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
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My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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