There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
