I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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