I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Holy shit dude........stairs
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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