real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now