You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog