You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.