Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize