While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
