I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
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Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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