My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.