wat bout pragnant strippers??
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
