Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize