I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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