He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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